All Salads Strange and SumptuousI was tasked with making potato salad this year, for the festivities and suchwhat. "Make one that's normal," she told me. "Make one that isn't. Really." She said that, too.
Before we begin, know this: these are not recipes, so much as flailings in the kitchen, and as such are not presented as the former. Read everything twice. Or just make it up! Anyway:
Mostly Normal Potato Salad
Gather unto oneself three pounds of nice red potato, cleaned as needed. Peel if one feels like it, and chop them up into half inch bits (or so). Boil in plenty of water that has plenty of salt in it, until they are done.
While they are doing, finely (finely!) chop up two medium sweet onions, and finely (finely!) slice four or five stalks of nice celery (cleaned and trimmed, those). Dump the onion and celery into a bowl with one third cup mayonnaise (it was all we had), two thirds cup of spicy brown mustard, perhaps one third cup again of sweet pickle relish. Be most generous with the cracked black pepper. Onto this dump the done'd and drain'd potato, and mix about.
It's still cooling; it's quite nice. It might need a bit of vinegar. Could go well with a bit of roasted corn in. Makes a biggish bowl thereof.
Somewhat Less Normal Potato Salad
Two and some pounds of small blue potatos.
Ha!
Same drill, clean and chop, plenty water, plenty salt. Set to boilin'.
Finely slice just one sweet onion this time; put in big bowl.
Chop the brine out of a good handful of capers (perhaps 15-20 largish ones) and put them in a small, heat proof bowl.
Peel and chop into bits six (six) large cloves of garlic. Get a skillet hot, and put enough olive oil in to cover the bottom. Slide in the garlic and let it toast in the heated oil, being careful about spitting. Shake the garlic in the oil often, and watch it lest it get too brown.
Which is the entire trick. What one wants it a nice light nutty brown; when the oil comes off heat, it will still cook the garlic a bit. When the garlic is all there, and one's sleepy spouse comes out of the rooms beyond the kitchen complaining of something smelling good, that's mostly right. Pour the hot oil and crispy garlic bits into the bowl with the capers in it.
Not sure what that does to the capers, flavorwise, but I didn't have anyplace else to put the oil at the time. And it sure was interesting. And it doesn't taste bad...
If one peers into the hot oil and the garlic and the capers and is concerned that the garlic is getting too toasy, start throwing handfuls of sliced onion in until it calms down. Add vinegar enough to make a dressing of a sort. A good vinegar, one that one likes. We had a neat little balsamic, and something like that works well. Taste it as one goes, etc. Dump everything over the potato, mix, and let cool.
I was thinking of adding raisins to this, but that met with much derision.
Ungrateful bastards.
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