March 05 2008, 10:43 PM Transit

My house is killing pigeons.

I am perhaps overstating it. My house, if nothing else, may simply be a hazard to pigeons, or possibly just annoying. What seems to be happening is that a flock of some twenty pigeons or so have found my roof a useful place to be; I have on occasion come home to see them up there, silent and motionless in the cold air along the line of the gable, a long line of comically puffy gargoyles. Some like to stand on the chimney. I imagine this is why there is an occasionally ghostly cooing in the living room, as their noises echo down the flue. I do not have too much worry that they will come in the house this way; that flue is sealed. I think. There are several flues in that chimney, though, and I believe the one they like is the one from the furnace, spewing hot air as it does. It is chilly up there.

The problem: it isn't really air that flows through that flue. It is carbon dioxide, monoxide, and other assorted unfortunate byproducts that tend to cause birds (what with the metabolisms they have) to pass out. Sometimes upon doing this, they will flop over and down the chute, getting lodged someplace unfortunate. The fear here is that they will then clog up the vent, stopping the draw from the furnace, and soiling the air in here. I have been through that: carbon monoxide poisoning is unpleasant. Not to mention extraordinarily dangerous.

Last time this year, raccoons romped in the walls. This year, pigeons coo in the flue. I am beginning to be wary of Spring.

In a fit of sloth, I opted for the bus this evening with which to make the journey home. A neighbor of mine had left the campus as I did, but walking, and we reached our street at the same time.